Tips and tricks tackling a divorce in California

Divorce can be an extremely high cost endeavour. So you want to be sure you are well informed before making any decisions, especially of you live in California, in some nice place like San Jose.

Sit Tight, It’s Going to be Awhile
The hurt does not go away once the ink dries on the divorce papers. In reality, it takes years to put your life back together. Give yourself time to grieve and process your feelings properly from the start. If you have trouble, see a therapist. There’s no harm in asking for help.

No matter how angry or betrayed you might feel or no matter how much your spouse may be pressing your buttons, do not let him/her get the best of you and take you out of your integrity.

Stay off social media and resist venting details of your divorce to anyone who will listen. Don’t badmouth your spouse to the kids or your family (even if he/she is badmouthing you to them).

Rise above, bite your tongue, take a deep breath (or a hundred of them) and be the bigger person.

Divorce is complicated to begin with and having children only makes matters more difficult to resolve. There are some things that you can do early in your divorce to protect your rights as a parent and to limit the impact that divorce will have on your children.

Expect Feelings of Hate
Anger is a stage of grief and one most people recovering from divorce go through. If you have not experienced anger toward your spouse yet, it’s likely you will. Try not to be too caught off guard. Simply manage your feelings so that your children don’t detect those feelings and so that your actions don’t make the divorce even more difficult.

Keep Track of Your Spouse’s Money

If you’re thinking of filing for divorce or legal separation, it’s a good idea to take a look at your spouse’s financial situation. According to Narris, spouses should start by tracking the partner’s new credit card and loan applications.

“People are more generous in their income reporting on credit or loan applications than they are in, say, their 1040,” said Narris, who went on to stress that loan applications could be crucial parts of a divorce discovery.

Get Property Valued Before You Part Ways

When it comes to divorce, almost all property is fair game. However, spouses can’t hope to get their fair shares if they don’t know the value of assets.

“No sense in guessing on the worth of his baseball cards or your engagement ring – never mind a house or a business,” said Narris, who reminds couples that there are experts available who can appraise just about anything.

Doing your homework now is the best way to come out ahead down the line.

Know What Is Your Biggest Asset

According to Narris, many people mistakenly believe that their house is their biggest asset when it is actually a retirement or pension account. Even if your retirement account is less than robust now, the court will likely consider its future value when dividing assets.

“There are many ways to divide your portion of your spouse’s retirement asset (called a qualified domestic relations order) so give that due consideration,” said Narris.

Our recommendation : The Law Offices of Heather J. Smith. Qualified as a lawyer in England and worked in the City of London before relocating to California in 1986. Upon being admitted to the California Bar I worked in the field of civil business litigation in private practice, and for a major technology company. My offices are centrally located in downtown San Jose. Please call or email me for an initial appointment at your convenience. Extra info at The Law Offices of Heather J. Smith. Contact info : 10 Almaden Boulevard, Suite 1250, San Jose, CA 95113. Phone: 408-279-1800. Email: